In my early walk with the Lord, discernment was a weakness of
mine. It seemed an entire lifetime had already passed. A new era had dawned,
and I was eager to live it right. Trouble was the baggage from my former life.
And no one had shared how to get rid of it. Old habits had to be overhauled into
Christ-like habits...and what was the best way to go about this?
Random thoughts flittered across my mind, trapping me in
befuddlement. I’d have to find a way to keep a sense of continuity. I coached
myself by thinking, “Only a distraction...Focus on what the Lord has
for you.”
Phone calls were the worst. With no answering machine or cell
phone, I felt compelled to answer the phone. It might be my Mom who was out
of state, or it could be my husband with an important question, I thought.
Only to find out, it was someone wanting to gossip about the newest neighbor
down the street.
I bemoaned the fact that my “new life in Christ” was turning
out to be just like my old life. “I don’t want things to be this way, Lord.
I want to live for you! Help me to hear Your voice,” I prayed one day.
Things continued until one day when the kids played in their
little outdoor pool. Setting it up in a hurry, I heard a wee, small whisper,
urging me to be careful of the items I placed in the pool. Checking each toy
out quickly, I placed both children in the pool. It wasn’t long before one of
the children had a boo-boo. How did that happen? I wondered, soothing my
child with a clean band-aid on her knee, a popsicle in one hand and a new
Minnie Mouse band- aid on her knee.
When I looked back on what had happened that day, I recalled
the Holy Spirit’s whispers for safety...but I missed it. You can imagine how
disheartened I was upon this realization! I had been out of touch with God’s
direction. I prayed for forgiveness and told the Lord I could see how I missed
His prodding. Then I prayed for the gift of discernment to know His voice.
Have you ever had a moment like that? Something happened to
make you realize those little tugs were the Hand of God trying to spare you
from some fiasco.
Months prior to Coronavirus, I had one of those little tugs.
It was brought on, in part, to the feelings of unrest in our nation. But it was
also something God was conveying to me. Praying for discernment, I asked the
Lord to remove the somber thoughts if they were not of Him. It was as if the Lord were preparing me for
something that was going to happen at an uncharted time--something over which I
would have no control...and no ability to change.
But over time the same thoughts persisted. So, I prayed, “Lord,
what would you have me to do about these thoughts?” I felt the Lord saying, “Fear
not. Trust in Me and wait on Me.” Then I wrote something in
my journal; my question was resolved and put to rest.
In March of this year, when the Coronavirus was in full
force, I thumbed back through my journal. Such an odd feeling overtook me as I
read an entry dated, February 1, 2020: “I continue thinking there’s going to be
an interruption.” Just one sentence. But it seemed a pertinent thought prior to
2020. Quite so. By that time, each person, apart from front line workers, was
in stay-at-home mode. It was a stunning moment for me.
The Lord God had, indeed, answered my prayer for discernment.
I was filled with rejoicing! Yet, His message of hope had prepared me for one
of the worst pandemics in history. Although I didn’t know what was coming...or
when, He had prepared me for this critical situation. As a result, I felt only
peace. Gratefulness washed over me.
“Now, I thought, “time to roll up my sleeves and pray for the
health of our nation.”
Lord
God, Heavenly Father,
Thank
You for Your Holy Spirit, who gives us the wisdom and discernment necessary to
walk this place called home. Thank You for Your provisions in confusion and
turmoil. Be with those in need of Your mercy, grace, and healing. Lead us
onward to our Heavenly Home, which You are preparing even now for us.
In
Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.
By Jan O’Neal
