Tuesday, March 10, 2015

A Matter of God’s Perfect Timing

by Barbara Wilson

On October 6, 2014, my Mother, Elsie Stussie, died at the age of 88.  A long, good life you might say, and it truly was.  Mother lived at Springmoor Retirement Center for almost six years,  and moved to the Health Center (Nursing area) two years ago because of dementia and balance problems.  Nine days later, she broke her hip!

Between anesthesia and the dementia blowing up, Mother never recovered from the hip surgery.  She was totally dependent on the staff for all her needs.  She was transferred to a wheel chair each morning and taken to a special dining room to be fed.

On alert days she was very sweet to her helpers and smiled and thanked them.  Also, on alert days, it was obvious she knew who I was by a couple of expressions she had always used with me—even if she couldn’t call my name.  On those days, I would read a devotion to her and maybe say “Aren’t we glad we know Jesus?" or “Aren’t we glad we will be in heaven with Him for eternity?”  She would answer “Yes, we are” or just lift her eyebrows in agreement.

Many times I would leave in tears saying “Lord, why would you allow Mother to keep living in this state of confusion and total dependence on others?"   As weeks and months went by, I began to ask the Lord, “Lord, is there something someone in our family needs to learn or repent from as we wait with Mother?"  Nothing came from this question I asked on a number of occasions.

Then last Spring through my own Bible Study and prayer, God began to show me in many ways that I wasn’t trusting Him.  I received healing prayer through the Healing Prayer Ministry at Apostles and realized I was not trusting Him with His timing of Mother’s life.  The Lord was revealing to me that “YES” in fact it was ME who needed to learn much about trusting Him concerning His timing with Mother.  Almost immediately, the Lord began to bring me to a different place of prayer - it’s hard to explain, but I was just going deeper with Him!  Proverbs 3:5-6 reads “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Six weeks before Mother died, she could no longer be transferred from the bed.  It became apparent that the end would be soon.  The Lord completely relaxed my visit times with her which became more often.  It was unusual for me to be relaxed at visits because I had busy work to do—take clean laundry, get dirty laundry, water plants, talk to nurse, etc.  There was none of that to do at this point.  So I just sat with her, held her hand, talked with her and yes, prayed with her.  The praying was no longer reading a devotion to her but miraculously, the Lord would put particular Bible verses or passages on my heart to read to her.  She had a wall of family pictures opposite her bed and one day I named all the family from the pictures and mentioned something she would have remembered about them.  One day, the Lord nudged me to pray a prayer of release to her and I told her “When you see Jesus hold out His hand for you, please run to Him because you will be able to run then.”

That six weeks was the sweetest time I had ever spent with my Mother.  And yes, God answered my questions of why and how long with His “perfect” timing by preparing my heart relationship with Him and my prayers to go deeper with Him.  Jeremiah 29:11-13 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Praise God I am still learning that He has not finished His plans for me and I pray He keeps teaching me until the day He takes me to be in His Presence.  Hallelujah!!

1 comment :

  1. That was beautiful, Barbara. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. May God continue to draw you closer to Himself!