Friday, May 29, 2015

I Don’t Have Time for You

If you don’t want to hear the struggle of my heart then don’t read on -- but if you have ever felt disconnected, lonely, bored, or just flat out frustrated with church community maybe this will help. 

I just want to share a recent experience that was almost a missed blessing in my life. I have often lamented the difficulty of getting connected within the church, and have heard others do the same. This past Sunday one of the mother’s of a student I lead for youth group started to make her way toward me after the service. I love this family and have been so blessed by my conversations with them over the years, but as she extended an invitation to join her family for lunch, much to my shame, this little voice in my head said, "You don’t have time for this; you have things to do today, and... you wanted to relax…and... you want to go enjoy the beautiful weather, and…" (Me, me, me…)

She smiled as I clearly paused trying to decide in my own selfish brain if I wanted to give up my “precious” time for a plan that was not in my plan, and then the words came from her mouth --  “Don’t worry, it won’t be too long we have other plans later, too, but we just thought we are eating lunch and we would love to have you join.” 

I don’t know what it was about the second statement, but immediately all of my internal debating went out the window, as I laughed at myself for thinking my “relaxing” plans were significant enough to have even begun the debate in my mind in the first place. I said yes. I could see that asking me had been uncomfortable, because let's be real, most of us get turned down when we take those five steps over to our family members (church family members) and ask the unthinkable,,, that they spend time with us. I am so glad she did. 

So if I could sum up what I am trying to share with you all, I would say it this way:

  • Our individual plans very rarely outweigh the blessing of community time.
  • We aren’t as busy as we think we are; I mean we all eat lunch somewhere after church right?
  • I feel significantly closer to that family having broken bread with them and with their children.
  • Church became just a bit more like family this past Sunday and I am tearing up as I write that, because isn’t that what we are all really longing for-- family? 
  • Ask for each other’s time and be flexible.


This is not a guilt trip, just a confession. If we don’t ever say yes to each other how can we ever truly become family? It doesn’t have to be crazy scheduled-out time, or even a long time (our lunch lasted all of 45 minutes) to establish family bonds.

And last but not least, we “young people” (though I realize I am slowly inching out of that category) love lunch-- and we love you!

Lunch at a restaurant or lunch at your house, it doesn’t matter. To be included in your family is just a little bit of healing and peace that we all need. 

By Beka Dominguez

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